He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
