Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
