My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
