Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
