people are starting to question the shark bite story
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
