i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
