Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
