Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
