He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
My vagina just recognized that song.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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