good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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