Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
