If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Me too!
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
This toilet bowl is my home.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
