Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
