He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
