I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
