Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
My feet surprised me
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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