It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
