Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Text me some of your sweat
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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