sorry about calling you the devil all night.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
