If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
