Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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