I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
