he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
