She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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