He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
