so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
