It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
