i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
