Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
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