Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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