She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
