ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
You took a bar mat shot.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
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