I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
