Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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