I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
This baby is an asshole
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
