East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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