i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
