does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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