R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
The best revenge is premature balding
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
