oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
