just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
