oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Houston, we have a blender
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
