Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Randomize
