I saw his package. It spoke to me.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Randomize
