didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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