I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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