That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
