Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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