if i can run in heels then i can drive
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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