you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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