i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
did i just pee glitter
Randomize
